Comments on: Second Rejection

By: Through the Wilderness to Light: A Testimony of Transformation – Prodigal Pathways

Wed, 27 Mar 2024 02:22:56 +0000

[…] crucial familial discoveries—meeting my biological mother after 46 years and facing a subsequent secondary rejection in 2019. Despite the pain, these experiences taught me resilience. Around the same time, I met my […]

By: Di Ladny

Di Ladny — Sun, 24 Jan 2021 12:17:43 +0000

Interesting Jo Williams that’s you are perceiving the relinquishing parent as a victim in the adoption triangle. To then assert that adoptees are brainwashed into believing they were abandoned is insulting to say the least.
You may want to do further research into the studies that repeatedly show the significantly higher incidence of suicide, incarceration and depression among adoptees, although I think that you may not like what you read and would rather sit on you high horse judging adoptees.

By: Fools Rush In – Adoptee Confessionals

Fools Rush In – Adoptee Confessionals — Mon, 23 Nov 2020 18:03:36 +0000

[…] or define these feelings about separation. Pretty quickly I found an article about something called second rejection. I struggle with the term because I personally do not consider my adoption a first rejection. I […]

By: Jo Williams

Jo Williams — Wed, 05 Feb 2020 04:34:04 +0000

I came across an adoption ‘blog’ website at an article called ‘The Second Rejection’, meaning rejection by the mother in reunion. Written by an adopted person claiming to be well educated in adoption issues. But he began with the assumption that the adoption was a rejection by his mother – and all other mothers – of adopted babies. He didn’t even question it. So he’s encouraging other adopted people to continue believing their mothers rejected them or the adoption wouldn’t have happened. That’s how brainwashed adopted people are. People like him are encouraging other adopted people to go into a reunion with the pre-conceived belief they were rejected at birth – and expecting another rejection from their mothers. So the writer hasn’t grasped that when a person approaches their mother demanding to know ‘why’ he or she wasn’t ‘wanted’ by her, they are setting themselves, their mother and the reunion – up to fail. Then they blame their mothers who don’t react well to that kind of critical questioning attitude. More trauma for the mothers. The reunion is a disaster, which convinces the adopted person their mother has now rejected them a ‘second’ time. It’s a double whammy for the mothers. It’s a self fulfilling prophesy for the adopted person. It was the mothers, not heir babies, who were unwanted. Successful reunions depend upon the adopted person having sufficient pre-knowledge of the effects of forced, compulsory adoption on their mothers. Babies were taken to punish the mothers for their sexuality/ fertility. When those babies grow up they need to understand the traumatic effect their loss had on their mothers. Adoption is the psychological loss of a child. Imagine the shock when that ‘baby’ reappears as an adult. You weren’t rejected. You were taken to satisfy the financial needs of the adoption industry. Please, re-educate yourselves before reunion. Try to set aside all the brainwashing to which you were subjected to by your adopted families – who made you believe you were unwanted and therefore rejected. It’s not true. Don’t ruin your own reunions.