Abandoned and Confounded
by Left Behind
I was more of an abandonment than an adoption, but the story is just as weird. Back in the 50’s mom was a real party girl. He marriage to my father? lasted 18 months. Enter hubby #2, the ex-con. That lasted about 6 months longer. She walked out on him, me and my newborn half brother. Married #3, forgot to divorce #2 (details, details). Has little girl. The courts had given custody of my brother to an uncle, and me to grandma & grandpa. In 1962, mom decides that we should all be the “Waltons” and live as one big happy family. That lasted a year, when she booked for San Diego with a sailor, and bro and sis never to be seen again.
Fast forward 30 years to 1993. I have always wondered what ever became of my brother and sister, and had done some searching. Shoot, I knew a whole lot more than most adoptees knew, names, dates, SSN etc. No luck.
Out of the blue, I get a phone call from a young woman who believes she is my sister. Wow, my long lost half sister. Wrong – this is a different girl. She has a birth certificate (original) that lists mom and hubby #3. He still lives by me, and gave her my name. I share my info with her and within 24 hours, she finds mom.
Well, I really didn’t want to see her that much, but was very interested in my brother and sister(s). I call my brother first, and he’s thinking ‘all right what’s the scam?’. After talking for an hour he really starts to believe this is for real. Well, he talks to mom, and she calls me. I wasn’t ready for that, but she offers to fly my wife and me 2,000 miles to see her.
Meanwhile, sister #2 has an intermediary call mom. Boy, does that go badly. She kept saying there must be some mistake, you have the wrong person, someone lied, stole #1 sister’s birth certificate and copied the info., whoever gave birth in a hospital under an assumed name, and so on. Now sister #2 doesn’t know what to think or do.
Back to my trip. Its really quite awkward. We get to meet brother and sister again, after 30 years. She had changed their last names. Also I found out I had two other brothers, one who died. We talk around a lot of issues, like WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME. She won’t discuss it. It is a closed chapter in her book of life. It is my choice whether I want to be part of HER family.
My brother and I get along great, talk a lot on the phone, he’s even come out here for a visit. Sister #1 believes everything mom says, and gets real defensive about her. Sister #2 is still in limbo, either a victim of second rejection, or someone that will have no way of ever finding bio-mom. Brother #2 is ok, but has been dominated by mom for so long, that he has moved away from her and stays only in casual contact. Brother #3 is the one who died. Too bad she never let me meet him. Being 2,000 miles away is bad for Bro and me, but keeps things between mom and me a nice distance apart.
By the way if anyone knows a cheap (free) DNA lab, my brothers and I are willing to help sis #2 prove or disprove whether she is part of the family, like she would want to be.
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