Gallery of Bastard and Adoptee Legends
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Hercules: “Who needs brains when you’ve got bastard brawn?” Aladdin: “If I hadn’t been a horny bastard who rubbed every other thing in my path I might have never rubbed that lamp…” Oedipus: ” Who you calling BASTARD, motherfucker?” Worf from Star Trek: “My biological parents died in glorious battle. If it were not for my human parents I would be a respected Klingon warrior. But now I’m a disrespected quasi human in emotional turmoil most of the time. Oh well, nobody ever said the Universe was fair. Ka’ pah tal tuk!” Richard the Lionhearted William the Conquerer |
 Gavi wrote: Has anyone seen that commercial that shows a series of famous people who were adopted? Who is this aimed at? Any comments -let’s start a string. Shea wrote: No, I haven’t but I bet it’s NCFA handiwork. Who are the famous people and what are they saying? Deru and Damsel wrote: Let’s make up stuff! Narrator: “The NCFA would like to introduce you to these famous people whose successful lives were made possible by adoption.” Luke Skywalker: “I’m glad I was adopted. My birthfather cut off my arm with a light saber!” Little Orphan Annie: ” Who says single men can’t raise an adopted child well? “ Tarzan : “It’s a jungle out there, and thanks to the apes that adopted me no one is better able to handle it than I. Ugh! More bananas!*snort* *snort*, *belch*!” Moses: ” If I hadn’t been adopted by Egyptian royalty, I would have been killed! But if I hadn’t searched and found… “ Anna Magnani: “Mamma Mia! Viva los Bastardos!”
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 Heathcliff : ” Gypsy beggar? You kidding? I’m a Gypsy Prince and don’t you forget it! “Bamm-Bamm Rubble: “My extraordinary strength came from my birth parents, but my adoptive parents taught me how to use it to impress the cute red-head next door.”Mowgli: “My wolf-pack upbringing taught me social skills I never would have learned among humans, like butt-sniffing.”
Romulus and Remus” Who needs a biomom with only two tits? Our amom has eight! “ King Arthur : “If I had not been able to discover my true heritage, the land would have remained in darkness– What? OH, sorry. Uh, er, if I hadn’t been adopted, we, er, wouldn’t have that nifty ‘sword in the stone’ story to read about. Is that okay?” Rosemary’s Baby : “Being raised by my adoptive parents will allow me to fulfill my destiny. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!” |
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