Gallery of Bastard and Adoptee Legends
Hercules: “Who needs brains when you’ve got bastard brawn?”
Aladdin: “If I hadn’t been a horny bastard who rubbed every other thing in my path I might have never rubbed that lamp…”
Oedipus: ” Who you calling BASTARD, motherfucker?”
Worf from Star Trek: “My biological parents died in glorious battle. If it were not for my human parents I would be a respected Klingon warrior. But now I’m a disrespected quasi human in emotional turmoil most of the time. Oh well, nobody ever said the Universe was fair. Ka’ pah tal tuk!”
Richard the Lionhearted
William the Conquerer
Gavi wrote: Has anyone seen that commercial that shows a series of famous people who were adopted? Who is this aimed at? Any comments -let’s start a string.
Shea wrote: No, I haven’t but I bet it’s NCFA handiwork. Who are the famous people and what are they saying?
Deru and Damsel wrote: Let’s make up stuff!
Narrator: “The NCFA would like to introduce you to these famous people whose successful lives were made possible by adoption.”
Luke Skywalker: “I’m glad I was adopted. My birthfather cut off my arm with a light saber!”
Little Orphan Annie: ” Who says single men can’t raise an adopted child well? “
Tarzan : “It’s a jungle out there, and thanks to the apes that adopted me no one is better able to handle it than I. Ugh! More bananas!*snort* *snort*, *belch*!”
Moses: ” If I hadn’t been adopted by Egyptian royalty, I would have been killed! But if I hadn’t searched and found… “
Anna Magnani: “Mamma Mia! Viva los Bastardos!”
|Heathcliff : ” Gypsy beggar? You kidding? I’m a Gypsy Prince and don’t you forget it! “Bamm-Bamm Rubble: “My extraordinary strength came from my birth parents, but my adoptive parents taught me how to use it to impress the cute red-head next door.”Mowgli: “My wolf-pack upbringing taught me social skills I never would have learned among humans, like butt-sniffing.”
Romulus and Remus” Who needs a biomom with only two tits? Our amom has eight! “
King Arthur : “If I had not been able to discover my true heritage, the land would have remained in darkness– What? OH, sorry. Uh, er, if I hadn’t been adopted, we, er, wouldn’t have that nifty ‘sword in the stone’ story to read about. Is that okay?”
Rosemary’s Baby : “Being raised by my adoptive parents will allow me to fulfill my destiny. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!”
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